Central PA's LGBT News Source
By Dr. Terry Drew Kaaren
Are you a trust worthy person? I’m sure you probably are. I sincerely believe people usually do the right thing when it comes to honesty. But, are there trust issues in your life you’ve been avoiding?
When thinking of trust issues, I suggest most of us think not of ourselves, but often a partner, family member, or friend who has lied to us in the past. It’s especially hard for some of us, myself included, to re-establish trust when someone we hold dear has lied to us simply because they didn’t want to face the consequences of the truth.
On a related note, avoiding the disclosure of secret actions diametrically opposed to agreements within any relationship is tantamount to lying. For example, the wife who strays (not part of the relationship guidelines) and neglects to tell her husband about it isn’t any less guilt of a betrayal of trust than the spouse who is questioned about an encounter and lies about it. It’s what’s called, “lying by omission.”
How does this all fit into the universe principles that we live by and use daily? If we are untruthful about anything – yes, anything– then that untruth will fester like a splinter in our finger. If it’s not removed – by being revealed – it eventually becomes even more painful, while all the time we’ll be wondering why our lives are in the toilet.
Do yourself a favor: Be truthful as a rule. If you’ve made a commitment to someone you can no longer keep, speak to them about it. Either re-negotiate the terms or sever the agreement. It may take a clean cut with a sharp knife to get that splinter out. But I’m here to tell you it’s a lot easier than having it sawed on with a rusty, serrated blade, which is what it will feel like if you wait. As always,
Terry is an author, speaker, licensed social worker and flight attendant. He is also the director of Spirit, Mind and Body Foundation (spiritmindbodyfoundation.org).