Central PA's LGBT News Source

Making Sense of Life

3 steps to guaranteed success

By Dr. Terry Drew Kaaren
Posted 2/27/19

Are you successful? You might ask, “At what?” We can feel accomplished or successful in one area of life, but not others. Some people seem to have relationships down pat but struggle with …

Please register to continue reading …

Please log in to continue

Log in

Would you like to read more?

Register for your free account today. It’s easy and fast!

Privacy Policy: We will never share, sell, or rent your email address. Information submitted to us is only available to employees managing this information for purposes of contacting you or sending you emails.

Click here to register for your free account.

Making Sense of Life

3 steps to guaranteed success


Are you successful? You might ask, “At what?” We can feel accomplished or successful in one area of life, but not others. Some people seem to have relationships down pat but struggle with financial issues. Someone else might be very comfortable financially but be plagued with health issues. Yet another person could be healthy physically but be alone and depressed.

What defines success in your life? One way to address this question is through a term we hear in the sports world: personal best. It’s often used in sporting events to indicate when an athlete has surpassed their own previous record.

Unfortunately, the way success is determined off the field, slope, or ice can be considerably less obvious. Our relationships and careers, for example, are not judged to the millisecond by a panel of impartial judges. We don’t come home from a date to find five people in our living room with score cards.

So how do we find a personal best in the various areas of our lives? Is there a guru to instruct us? Probably not. But there are three steps we can take.

The first step is preparatory. Our success in any venture will have a greater outcome of satisfaction if we are focused and dedicated to the outcome. No Olympiad is medaled because she casually thought she’d take up a sport because there wasn’t anything better to do.

That’s why we can accomplish a goal and still feel empty, lacking the satisfaction we expected. We feel like failed at something we didn’t desire in the first place. We must pursue the goals we desire for ourselves, not what others tell us we should do. The universe will support our word so it behooves us to ensure that our thoughts and words will lead to the actions necessary to produce the results we crave. Who wants to have a ho-hum response to an optional undertaking?

Second is to (A) let go of the process, and (B) get busy with our work. That may seem contradictory, but it’s not. Once we firm decision on what we want the universe acts on it, provided we don’t get into the process and muck it up. This isn’t metaphysical psychobabble. Countless studies have been done at major, accredited universities proving that how firm our beliefs are in what we want, the better our chances are of seeing our efforts rewarded with the success we seek.

The busy part is doing the work we are drawn to do. In other words, we can’t put the new frig in the kitchen without removing the old one. Get rid of whatever is in the way of the desired result. If we need to have a degree or certification for a job, then at least go on a couple of school websites and start some research.

If you don’t know what that next step is, find something to clean. Cleaning our desk, closets, car, garage, or whatever else we can think of is an excellent way to both signal to the universe that we’re serious, plus it keeps us occupied while our desire is simmering.

Finally, the third step has to do with judgment. When people feel they have failed at being a success it may be because they have used the wrong measurements. It’s easy to have the exact result we set out to achieve, yet find it falls short of the goals of other people or society. The judgment step is about us deciding what is success for us, our personal best. We can’t allow our friends, parents, society, or even our partners determine what is best for us. It’s up to us.

Decide today to take just one desire you have and use these steps to find the success you seek. When you’ve reached your goal, you’ll know you’ve reached your personal best. How? You’ll have a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It will be the ease with which you fall asleep at night, and the excitement for the new day with which you awaken. Go for it!

Terry is speaker and award-winning author - find his books on Amazon. Read his weekly blog at Central Voice online or on his website at: blog.terrydrewkaranen.com